River

Christmas 2014 Jason and I put a deposit down on a gift for each other, a Christmas gift for our family.  We had talked about this special gift before, even before we were married.  I had dreamt of this for as long as I can remember.
In April 2007, before I was married or even dating Jason,  I spent 9 weeks in Mombasa Kenya, at The Dickson Children's Home (see their projects here), a wonderful orphanage run by an amazing couple, Ria from Holland and Matheka, a native to Mombasa.  My time here was something I will treasure for the rest of my life.  I thought I would go back year after year to see these beautiful children grow up, to be a bigger part of their lives, but I have not.   I remember going to an Internet cafe one afternoon, shortly after being there, and looking into adopting a Kenyan orphan.  Unfortunately, it wasn't and still isn't really an option to adopt from Kenya as an American.  Regardless, these kids will always have a piece of my heart.
Then I met Jason and 3 years later we were married!  We talked about having kids and plenty of dogs. One year after our marriage we had Lucia.  After having our special girl we weren't sure we wanted to have other kids. We were so happy with our little family but we decided it would be wonderful to give Lu a sibling!  When Lucia was about 6 months old we attended a local adoption meeting to learn more about adoption- domestic and international. We then decided to try to have another one biologically and it obviously worked as now we have Scout!

Now here we are, a little family of 4- a special girl named Lucia and her amazing sister Scout plus some dogs.  We usually have things under control-ha!...Meaning, we can do the 1 parent to 1 child dealeo, fit in a pretty typical sized car-well sort of, live comfortably in a modest 3 bedroom home, and walk our 2 dogs along side the double stroller.  However, we both felt something or someone was tugging at our heart...  There seemed to be something wanting to make more space in our hearts, our home, our family.  We would talk about another child and let it go, then talk about it some more.   I continued to research adoption- a burning flame I could not seem to put out.  Then we decided another child was what we wanted to do! We talked about getting pregnant again but I felt adoption was a part of my plan, part of God's plan for me, for us. We searched online for several months on different agencies and programs, not fully committed but the dream was becoming more real.  I had hopes of adopting a precious girl from Africa.  Jason dreamt of having a son.  Things that were important in our decision making: having a program that moved as quickly as possible (not waiting years for a match), not requiring both parents to travel, able to adopt a child younger than Scout and using a trustworthy, reliable agency.  Jason also pointed out that I had my two girls, it was time for a son.  How could I not agree?  With all our preferences, we decided on adopting a boy from China!  So...our Christmas gift to each other, almost 16 months ago, was the gift of another child.  We put down a deposit and committed to adopting a little Chinese boy through a wonderful place called the Chinese Children Adoption International CCAI, a local agency and the biggest agency (over 10K adopted) for adopting Chinese children in the US.
Paperwork, home study meetings, required parenting classes, more paperwork, proving to the US and Chinese government that we are worthy parents (despite some of Jason's late teen, early adulthood shenanigans/minor record!-ok, I'm not perfect either #memphis).  Anyway, we THANKFULLY, maybe by the grace of God, made it through the process and on March 7th our file was complete and approved.

We now had to wait, wait for a file of a little boy to be presented for our review.  Mid April Jason received a call about a little boy named Jian Le Hua, he was just shy of turning 2.

  The last update the agency had received was about a year old so we weren't really certain how this little guy was doing- mentally and physically.  We had a doctor review his file and he too preferred more current information.  Without an updated document, a video or updated pictures, we were hesitant to be matched.  We only had 4 days to make a decision-updates or not.  The next day I was walking with Lucia and the dogs (Scout was at school) and had just gotten to a park, it was a beautiful sunny, warm day.  I heard a new email ding on my phone and there it was- CCAI had just sent me an email saying they had received current updates!  I read his updated development progress, sounded great and a quite similar to another little monkey in our house :).  I then quickly searched for the pictures and video.  I saw one picture and knew, I knew I wanted to say yes!!!  I shared the pictures and news with Lucia and took a picture of us to show our little boy when he arrives.

It felt so good, so right, feeling this way! I texted Jason right away and told him to meet me at the park.  We both agreed-he was the one.  Here he is!

the picture that captured my heart!

 Now we must continue to do more paperwork and wait for files to be filed.  In 3-5 months (there will be about a 10 day notice prior to departure) Jason will travel to China for 16 days, to pick up our son.  We are so excited for him to be a part of our family!  We are going to name him River.  

River Butch Dawkins, born April 7th, 2014. 

River's middle name- my daddy Butch, whom I'm so honored to call my dad.

River,  We already love you and we have been praying for you to join our family.  You have two very excited sisters awaiting your arrival and we hope you aren't allergic to dogs!  Your daddy will be picking you up in a few months and when you get back to us we will never let go!

Lucia Speaks!

For the past week, I've struggled as to whether or not to tell this story. It is just too unreal.  Too amazing.  I've been hoping I'd get more evidence to support my wild imagination or maybe it was just too good to be true.  Anyhow, here it is.....  

Poor Candy, she had a back ache and didn't want Lu to leave her. 

Last week, Mario "Babo" took the whole family to dinner at White Fence Farms.   A funny little place with a petting zoo that the girls really enjoyed.   We were a bit nervous to go as Candy seemed to have hurt her back and was struggling to walk around the house.   We decided to go anyhow hoping that Candy would get some rest while we were gone.   After a huge chicken dinner and massive accident in Scout's pants, we packed up the girls and headed home.  We pulled into the garage and Jules started unbuckling Scout from her car seat and I ran into the house to check on Candy.   Jules and Scout soon followed me in and we all gave the dogs a little love.   Then I realized I had left Lucia in the van!

Scout, you seem to be walking a little funny. 

It was only a minute or two but I sprinted to the garage to rescue our little girl.   I opened the rear door and started pulling the ramp down.  Then it happened as clear as day.  At first I thought Scout had escaped, followed me to the garage and started to call my name.  "DAD.......DAAAD, DAAAAD!!!!"   I looked for Scout and couldn't figure out how she got in the van.  Then I realized what was happening.  Lucia was calling my name!!!   She sounded EXACTLY like Scout.  I opened the side door and looked at Lu.  She looked me right in the eye and gave me another, "DAD!"

All I could think to say (or scream) was "Say it again Lu! Say it again Lu!!!"  I unhitched her wheel chair as quickly as I could and rushed her into the house.   "Lu say it again for mom, say it again!"  Well, she didn't.... I explained to Jules what had just happened and she just started laughing.....and laughing with tears....and laughing.  It was so great.

I've been thinking about this everyday (almost all day) since then.   She knows who I am!  Was she really looking for me?  Was she scared that we left her in the van?  If she can say Dad, what will she say next?  What does she think about as she clasps her little hands together listening to all we have to say and do?  "DAD", it was just perfect.  So much intent, so much concern in her little voice.   Out of no where, from a girl who almost never makes a peep.  

Man oh man, what I would do to hear her call my name again.  Her silence and her little cries and sweet noises.  We love her sweet voice, but words?  Incomprehensible!!

Nothing better!!

Happy Easter!

The wheels on the bus

"The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round, the wheels on the bus go round and round, all day long" is the song Scout and pretty much our whole family has been singing for the past few weeks...all day long!  Well today the wheels on the bus rolled up to our house with a little Lubird riding high!  A big yellow bus.  "The driver on the bus says move on back" "The kids on the bus go up and down".  School buses are filled with kids talking about their day, smelling like kid sweat and cafeteria food, carrying on, laughing, reading a book, passing notes, sitting with friends.  Some despise riding the bus, some love riding the bus, some don't have a choice and some, well some kids don't ever get the option to ride the bus because they are too sick or medically fragile, some of these kids are good friends of Lu's.  I wasn't sure if our Lu would ever ride a bus but with a toddler at home always napping around Lucia's pick-up time, I was ready to explore this option.  So, after working out a few details and a couple weeks later, here she came, home on a big yellow school bus "the horn on the bus goes beep beep beep", riding with peers, holding her sweet hands, crossing her legs in her pink stingray wheelchair looking out her window.  Riding the bus is an experience most kids take for granted or don't think about as being a privilege,  but it really is a pretty cool deal.  You get picked up, hop on and don't need to do anything but enjoy a ride and get off at your school, then you go home, taking a complimentary, pretty brainless ride, no parents barking, usually with friends!  Well I know it's not always that easy and I know so many kids that will never get to experience riding a big yellow school bus with friends...they were born with too many special medical issues.  So this was a really special moment to happen to our Lu.  I sat outside our house anxiously waiting.  I imagined her being uncomfortable, crying and no one there to help her, or her not being securely fastened and uncomfortable, BUT she was none of those things.  She was totally secure, totally content, and she even has a special assistant who will ride with her, a great lady named Shay.

Hello Mr. Gregory and Mom!

Our bird can ride a bus!  Our Lucia can ride with friends on a bus and have a similar experience to some of her peers...it's a tearfully happy moment to witness.  Yay Lu.  We love you and your special chair and special lift and specialness about you all around.  Thank you Miss Shay and her driver, Mr. Gregory for being so cheerful and sweet with our Lu.  Getting to be a a part of the wheels on the bus going round and round is a HUGE deal.
Here are the videos of the first ride!

click here for Birdbus1

Click here for Birdbus Part 2

They seem to really know

The little sister asked to sleep with her older sister a couple nights ago and the parents thought, well...ok.. I guess it's ok. Yes!!.   The little bit nervous mom checked on them several times before they both fell asleep, as she thought one might fall off the bed or be unhappy...  They were good, awake and tired, but good.  Before mom and dad went to sleep they went in one last time to see if their girls were asleep and they found this. Their hearts melted. Perfection. Love. Sisters. 

One big bed with two little girls, sisters,  cuddled next to each other.  One young yet strong and fierce. One older needing protection and love.  They get it. They understand their love, their special bond. They know.  Mom and dad, your girls seem to really know.  

A New Year full of new things

Little Lady Lucia.  Our sweet little lady Lucia has been doing well continuing to work on sitting, some days 1 minute, some days up to 5!  I've said the words, "she's a sitter" and can't believe it's true.  Just last Friday when I asked her school teacher how her sitting had gone the last few days she too confirmed and said, "she's a sitter".  Really really something amazing to hear.

lu in a new style-borrowing her cousin Charley's bikini-she was so happy!

Speaking of school, the last few weeks Lu and I have been looking into where she will attend kindergarten next year.  We have had such a wonderful experience at her current school, her pre-school at Palmer Elementary- just 4 minutes from our house, but they do not have a program for K-5 that will "support Lucia's needs" so we have to move to a program that will...it seems to be a bummer.  I wish I could walk her right down the street to our neighborhood school-Carson, with the rest of our neighbors, and someday with Scout.  But Carson is not on the list of schools for kids like Lu.  Currently at Palmer, Lucia is with typical kids and a few special kids, up to 12 kids with 1 teacher and 2 assistants-all of which we love.  She also has several therapists throughout the week who work one on one with Lu. Starting next year and going forward she will be in a all special needs class-not saying it's a bad thing but it's really nice to see all the kids interact-typical  and non-typical, and have her close to our house.  Fortunately I did find one school we like so far - 20 minutes away.  We'll continue to visit all schools with a MI (multi-intensive classroom) or MI-S (multi-intensive severe classroom) and hopefully find the best place for our girl.  There is more to it than just finding a place WE like but this is how LU and I are going to go about it.  More to come..

Lu and her buddy Alexander at pre-school

We also just finished an addition to our house, a master bath with a roll-in shower for Lu! Roll- in meaning a shower wheelchair can roll right in, there is no curb from bathroom floor to shower floor, the shower is also big enough for a wheelchair and we have a hand shower to wash our bird.  We also now have a tub big enough for me and both my girls!  It's a dream bath come true!  In time we'll want to figure out how to get Lucia in and out of the tub with a lift of some sort but we're getting there! 

working on window treatments too :)

We also have a wheelchair accessible van making it's way into our family.  It is being modified in Atlanta now and should be heading to Denver within the next week or so.  I never thought i would be so excited about a mini-van!

Friday night my phone rang and it was Lu's PT, Grace, asking if we had plans the next day- Saturday..I knew she had something up her sleeve and I said we could definitely get together.  She shared she had something to give Lucia.  Grace brought the best gift, a big light table/desk, the most amazing light table!  Not only was the table FREE as a couple in her neighborhood was just giving it away,  but it is the perfect height for Lu to use in her stander or gait trainer, it tilts, and Lu loves it!!!!! Listening to the pure joy and excitement in Grace's voice tell me about it was so cool.  That feeling of finding someone special a gift and you can't wait to give it...that is what I heard.  We put Lu in front of it and she was more focused on that table for over an hour than I have EVER seen her!  It's so so awesome.  Had we purchased one from a special needs magazine it would have been close $600 or much higher and not even be the right height!  We'll probably spruce this one up in time but receiving this was like Christmas all over again.  Thank you Grace Jory!  What a gift you are and is this light table!  Grace shared the pictures w the couple who gave away the table and it brought them to tears- something taking up space in their closet now is a little girls favorite toy.  

Seeing our Lucia light up with interest, engage in something is simply amazing.
A new strong sitter, a new school for our bird in the fall, a new bird bath, a new bird van and the best bird table...mostly wonderful,exciting new things for our family in this new year.
My only real complaint is the usual..it's going by too fast. 

This is how we roll lately...all aboard!  

our little family minus Mr Blue.  

Our Christmas miracle

We have said it for 4 years.  With Lucia having PKS we are always working towards this, that, sitting and more. We pray and dream of this, that, sitting and more..  Well...  Our. Bird. Is. Sitting.  Our Bird Sits.  She sits!  I remember it like it was yesterday.  It was 1 week before her 2nd birthday.  Lucia's physical therapist, Rebecca and I had been working on sitting weekly, daily.  Lu sat for 10 seconds, then 30 seconds, with just the support of a boppy pillow.  It was so great, such a celebration...and after those moments, her sitting has only lasted about 3-5 seconds here and there.  Until!!!  Last week when we were working on sitting, balancing with her arms she stuck it!  First 30 seconds for the first few days, then up to 2 minutes.  She uses her arms to help her balance, she sometimes even tries not to smile.  I think she understands how to use her sweet body- legs, torso and arms to do this for a long time to come!  Miracles do happen and I feel this is a Christmas miracle.  I'm so happy.  I'm so proud.  I'm so over the moon every time I watch her little body sitting all on her own.   Here's the first video of the record sit! 

https://youtu.be/up76PYo8BPg

And here she is with her proud Candy. 

Never give up.

Miracles happen.

Our bird sits.  

I love you Lucia Elizabeth Dawkins.  

God bless our little girls. 

Xoxoxoxo

Two Angels

Something as simple as bike riding can be almost impossible with a special needs child.  When Lucia was about 18 months old my parents and I went to REI in search of a bike seat for Lucia- or a trailer of some sort so we could go on bike rides.  Because Lucia has such low muscle tone, using a typical set-up where she needs to hold up her head or body upright, makes regular seats not ideal for kids like Lu.  We spent at least an hour there and tried about everything- even a 3 wheeled adult tricycle type bikey thingy..but in the end I ended up hiding behind a clothes rack crying because nothing there would work for my little girl.  We left without a seat.
When we vacationed a few months later in Hilton Head we used a bike trailer and instead of Lu sitting up we had her lie sideways on the 2 seat bench- it worked ok, as long as we went fairly slow, were on paved surfaces and didn't go too far.
After we had Scout we purchased a bike trailer thinking Lu had gotten strong enough to sit up with the straps and next to her little sister...but it never worked for more than a couple blocks.

attempt with the burley

Then last summer we thought we found the perfect bike riding setup, the Wee Hoo!  Both girls could ride together in their own seat, feel the breeze, see the sights AND be supported. However, after a couple rides, we realized it too was no bueno.  Lucia's hips easily slide forward when not fully supported and holding her head upright can get really tiring.  She cried on our two rides.  So the bike trailer, and the Wee Hoo now collect dust in our garage... Bikes for special needs kids mostly range from $3,000-$8000..so we thought maybe one day...

the Wee Hoo-pretty weeoonderful but just not cuttin it

During the Do More Charity Crossfit competition last month a woman named Dawn came over and introduced herself to me and Lu.  She was there cheering on some of her fellow Crossfit friends.  Dawn had seen the team called Lubird's bandits for PKS Kids and she wanted to meet Lu and offer something.  Dawn and her husband had two daughters, first Allyson and a little bit later Rachel.  Both girls were born with the same rare and serious form of Muscular Dystrophy, and tragically both passed away when they were 5.  The girls inspired Dawn and her friends to form a foundation in their honor,  Two Angels, http://www.twoangelsfoundation.org/about-2/ Their purpose is this :
Having a child with special needs can be challenging and it is the goal of the Two Angels Foundation to help with some of the struggles and make a difference in the lives of these children by:

• Helping families purchase recreational adaptive equipment for physically disabled children.
• Providing adaptive equipment to help physically disabled children participate at school.

The Two Angels- Allyson and Rachel Mohatt

Dawn told us she wanted to get Lu a bike!  After a few communications, she asked our family to come to an event this past Sunday, the MBS Turkey Challenge Crossfit competition raising money for Two Angels.  They introduced us to the 300 competitors.  It was really special.

Dawn is beside me w her friend Leslie

Some of this money will be for our girl to get a bike!- a bicycle that would truly work for HER.  This is the bike we have our sights set on and Two Angels will help make this possible!  http://www.frankmobility.com/duet.php

how cool is this?! so excited!!!!! the chair can be detached too!

We are over the moon with the thought of taking Lu on bike rides where she will be comfortable, secure and happy.  Thankful.  So Thankful.  Thank you Two Angels for making what seemed almost impossible, possible.   I can already imagine Dawn's two angels Allyson and Rachel flying above Lu when she rides.  Happy Thanksgiving.  

A LuCandy Heart

It's a bird! It's a dog! It's a LuCandy heart!!!! 100% created by these two!  Don't think this is just a coincidence either... Wow. 

  These two...not sure who rescued who in this house.  We adopted Candy the 10 or 11 year old homeless Weimaraner last August.  Although considered a senior and older dog, this sweet girl has made herself a whole new world and is handing out a lifetime of love.  She loves Lucia. Loves.   She snuggles her, constantly showers her with kisses, protects and guards over her during therapies and simply put, she lives for Lucia since she joined our family! It's beautiful.  All is going well in our little home and the love between this girl and her dog is true.  Most dogs kiss Lu, the sweeter or smarter ones kiss her more and Candy- she can't give enough of her sweetness to sweet Lu. I'm so thankful for the timing of Candy.  When we lost our lady Frieda last June we knew it would be hard to get another dog.  Frieda could sing, she could dance, she was so sweet and gentle with the girls and she was pretty hilarious and of course a tad crazy at times too.  After she passed, Mr. Blue wanted and needed a friend and plenty of dogs need homes.  It totally worked out.  Maybe Frieda did send her!  Thank you Lady, of course you helped make this possible.  Frieda and Candy have so many similarities..the tad crazy part included ;)   Animals are amazing and they no doubt know that Lucia is special.  I know if dogs and our Lu could talk we would learn so so much.  

 

  Henry, my parents dog, has always been drawn to Lu, usually licking/kissing her special hand whenver he can! 

    Candy tends to photobomb the bird

Candy always close to Lu especially during therapies

       Scout!! and the happy couple 

        What? I'm just guarding my girl. 

Lady Frieda and little Lu

Blue and Candy

The Mr and Candy spooning

We love you dogs.  Thank you for loving us unconditionally, with all your heart.  You make the world a better place.