I AM READY!

I ran into an old friend a couple Fridays ago, Eric Johnson.  Eric's a very funny and sarcastic "dude" - loves to talk about "hot chics" , the latest epic parties, etc...  He is a really nice guy too but I never expected him to say anything about Lu.  After he caught me up with his latest dating and partying life, (as he massaged my friend's shoulders-ha- big flirt) he said something.

Eric:  "So, I read your blog sometimes."
Me: "wow, really?".
Eric: " yea, I think it's good how you get your thoughts out, it probably helps." And then it was back to girl talk...  

It was a bit surprising coming from a guy like Eric.  I've never been one to ever keep a journal going for more than a few days, although I've attempted dozens of times.  But with Lucia's blog, I think of it as a journal for her, so it's easier, more motivating and fun.  

I have thought about what he's said and realized that Eric's right! I was REALLY struggling with the thought of bringing another child into our lives.  I know I wrote about it in the last blog, and I didn't fully express my fear of it all... not even close. BUT!!!!, since writing that last blog, 'getting my thoughts out', I feel SOOOO much better about having a new baby!  I'm GIDDY about meeting her, LOVING her, SHARING her w Lu, and I feel in my heart that this was ALL a part of GOD's plan!   So little lady in my belly, come out, come out, (I know where you are-ha) whenever you like! !!  I AM READY!  

I'm in love with a girl named Lu, and I know soon I'll too, be in love with you! 

10 Days until my due date! Lubird was a little over a week early, so you should be early too-any day now!!!!
WE ARE READY! I AM READY!

Newborn Coming Home Outfit!

And to our friend's, Katie and Dave Zapata and their fighter, 'little big man Lincoln' congrats on a successful surgery and for coming home for the first time since your birth a little over 2 months ago!!!!!!!  You are surrounded by LOVE indeed!

Sisters

This morning during our morning cuddle session with Little Lu, Jason snuggled up next to Lu and said, "Let's really enjoy these last few days alone with her" Those words, those thoughts, the truth that Lucia will be our only child for just a little longer, have been very hard for me.  I've written some blogs, that I haven't finished, I've talked to her about it, I've talked to Jason about it, and I've cried.  When I get sad that Lu is soon going to be shared, I think of something Jason said one time, a while back.  "Jules, we are giving Lu the best present we could ever give her, a sister."  It is true.  She can't possibly just want Jason and I doting over her for the rest of her life.  Boring adult parents, growing old, talking about her, spoiling her...  She needs someone to spice things up!  To play with her, to love on her, to run circles around her, to brush her hair, and paint her toes, to be her best friend.
Yes,  I know that is true but I'm still having a hard time thinking about our little team getting bigger.  Bigger and better we will be but there is no question it will be different.

Our beautiful bird
You are our first and perfect love
you came into our life, a burst of light
showing us a whole new world, one we never even knew existed
because of you we have met more special people from all over the world
and those we have always known, you have brought out a different side
your eyes that sparkle, although they can't see very well, they have opened up our eyes more than ever imagined
although you are so small, and fragile,  you have rocked our world like a beautiful hurricane
soon you'll have a sibling, a little sister
and we know you will love her so
please accept this gift of a new little girl
she is for you, our beautiful baby bird
you don't need to do anything to prepare
just know that we love you and we'll never compare
God has given you to us and we could not be more grateful or more proud
Baby Lucia, our one and only baby bird
We love you so much.

June 3rd, is the due date...and soon we will welcome a new little lady to our family.  We can't wait to meet you, little one.  We can't wait to introduce you and Lu to each other.  Sisters.  That feels good to type.  Sisters.  Sisters.  Sisters.  Wow.

Happy Mothers Day Bugs

I wanted to write a little something about being a mom to my bird.  I feel like the luckiest mom in the world to have my Lucia, who has made ME a MOM!  She doesn't judge, she doesn't complain, she just let's me love on her day in and day out and I have a feeling she will be that way for a long time.  I love my Lu so much.  Jason just chimed in and said he wanted to write a mothers day blog..so here you go daddy.  Thank you Lu for being YOU! 

There's something special about all mothers, but there's something very extra special about my wife. Juliet's ability to love, nurture (both Lu and I), and care for her family is astonishing.   When I first met Juliet,  it quickly became obvious that she is a strong, easy going, funny, and an always positive spirit willing stop for lost puppies, visit random retirement centers (our first Christmas together), volunteer at orphanages, and dig through the car for something to give the homeless guy on the corner.  After we got married, we would often talk about our purpose in life, and discuss different causes, charities, or organizations which we could or should involve ourselves with.  While we discussed such things, time would fly by, we would lose ourselves at work, and find ourselves having the same conversation a month or two later.   Then Lucia was born!  

Having witnessed Jule's courage, commitment to Lucia's health, physical therapies, occupation therapies, speech therapies, self educating herself on a whole host of medical issues she keeps neatly filed in a series of packed binders, her true LOVE for Lucia, her true concern for each of every PKS child and their families, it has become apparent to me that Juliet is doing exactly what God has intended her to do probably since the day Jules was born.   Just as Lu was sent here to teach us all about life and love, I believe Jules was born to do the very same.   Perhaps its every mother of special needs kids, I'm not sure, but I do know I live with an extraordinary woman who goes about everyday making life a bit better for everyone she happens to run into.  

Thank you my best friend and Lover for spending seemingly every waking moment caring for our Lucia.   You've given Lucia everything and more than our sweet angel could have every dreamt she would have received when she chose you to be her mother.   

 

We Love You,

Jason and Little Lu.

And tomorrow my mom is having a big surgery and I want to wish her good luck.  You'll do great, mom and happy mothers day to you too.  

Happy to be Happy

Since having Lucia and settling into daily life after her diagnosis, Juliet and I quickly got into the happy rhythm of having and raising a little girl.  Sure, there are days or moments when the PKS thing hits you, but for us, they fortunately quickly come and go.  Almost every morning begins with me running down the hallway after we hear Lucia wake up to greet her with a "good morning my beautiful girl, I love you!" I change her diaper, bring her to our bedroom, and Jules feeds her a bottle.  I go to work, think of her and  Jules often, then come home to my sweet girls each night.  After dinner, Juliet and Lu take a bath together and I pick her up from the bathtub with a "Ill wrap you up like a little burrito" and get Lu ready for bed.   It's a fun, rewarding, and it's a wonderful life.

However, for the second year in a row, Lucia's birthday week has been very tough for me.  Jules planned and had a wonderful party, Lu enjoyed her birthday song, the weather was awesome, and good friends and family showed up to celebrate.  It was great, but the memories of her diagnosis, the painful days that followed, the emergency trips to the hospital, the pleading with God that whatever was wrong with her would not be serious, the unfairness of it all, laying in bed at night crying about our new lives, it was hard, and for each of Lucia's birthday weeks, it has been totally consuming for me.   Maybe it's Gods way of reminding me how wonderful our lives are or perhaps it's simply my minds way of refocusing.  I'm not sure, but what I'm referring to as my "annual freak out week that I have a PKS child" has served as a reminder to me of how happy I am to be happy.

God works in funny ways.  This morning, the seventh day of my annual one week freak out, I closed my office door and lost it.  I felt horrible about posting a somewhat obnoxious facebook comment to some PKS friends the night before,  about what I thought they should do regarding a teacher who refused to take a PKS child to the zoo with his classmates.   I  then began obsessing over whether Lucia would ever have any friends other than her family who would care for her.  At that very moment, my friend Mike, who I've become buddies with at Crossfit over the last year, sent me a message asking whether Lucia and I wanted to meet he and his two year old daughter for a late afternoon beer and lunch.  I called Jules to tell her Lucia had been invited to have lunch with another little girl and we both teared up and started laughing at the same time.   It was the first time someone had invited me and Lucia to hang out with another little girl outside of our family.  Juliet sent me a picture of what Lucia was going to wear to meet her friend Elsa.   While the girls pretty much ate, we drank three beers, it was an awesome afternoon.

As of this afternoon, my "annual one week freak out that I have PKS child" is over.   I feel great again (other than my arm which is doing much better) and I'm ready for another year with my Lucia, Juliet, and XXXXX.   Thank you to all of our friends and family who make life so easy for Juliet and me.  We love you guys.

Elsa, Megan and Mike Bartholomy